Bullshot Crummond

by Ronald E. House and Diz White

Denton Community Theatre is excited to announce auditions for our next POINTBank Black Box production, Bullshot Crummond by Ronald E. House and Diz White, directed by Ash Robbins.

Auditions will be held April 9 and April 10 at 7:00pm at the POINTBank Black Box Theatre located at 318 E. Hickory, Denton.  Performances will be at the POINTBank Black Box Theatre Jun 1 – 3.

Auditions will consist of cold readings from the script. Please be prepared to at least attempt British and German accents.

About the show:

Bullshot Crummond is a parody of 1930’s low-budget, grade “B” detective movies, specifically the Bulldog Drummond series of books, television, and movies. The production derives its humor from the audacious attempt to transpose effects normally reserved for films to the stage. These car chases and plane crashes will never fool the audience with their authenticity but their inventiveness will provide lots of entertainment.

The play concerns a pre-WWII plot by the dastardly Count Otto Von Brunno and his ambiguous relation Lenya Von Brunno to ruin the international diamond market by kidnapping Professor Rupert Fenton. Working against them are Hugh “Bullshot” Crummond and Rosemary Fenton (the professor’s daughter). The characters are highly stereotypical: Otto a German supervillain, Lenya a femme fatale, Fenton an absent-minded professor, Rosemary a damsel in distress who faints and runs around in her underwear, and Crummond a highly intelligent and quick-witted hero (who, at many times during the play fails to notice something very obvious, or is easily defeated in a fight).

Other humor relies on bizarre coincidences and unlikely events. Otto’s plots to kill Crummond include poison, a tarantula’s bite, a stick of dynamite triggered by the “Converse Force Field,” and a sword fight. If you’re wanting a play that’s structured more as an excuse for comic gags and laughter than a riveting plot, this is the one for you.

Roles Available:

Hugh “Bullshot” Crummond: Male/ age 30-ish  –  An archetypal British Officer who laughs at danger. He thinks of himself as a dashing young daredevil while in reality he has a deluded idea of his own capabilities. He approaches every situation with complete confidence but his shortcomings are obvious to the audience. He would be coined a male chauvinist. English accent required.

 Miss Rosemary Fenton: female/20’s-30’s  –  She is an English rose of genteel upbringing. She has an obnoxious laugh that only Bullshot finds charming. She has been brought up to believe that men are superior to women but her red blooded spirit comes through in some moments of danger. There is a definite attraction between her and Crummond. The character will be seen in 1930’s era undergarments on stage. Upper class English accent required.

 Otto Von Brunno/Salvatore Scalicio: Male/age 30-40  –  Otto is a classic “B” movie Teutonic villain. He speaks with a stock Hollywood German accent coupled with stiff movements and an evil laugh. The character is bald so the actor must be comfortable with wearing a latex bald cap (or shaving head).  Salvatore is a stock character of an American gangster during the Capone days. His only real importance to the script is to provide a lightning fast quick change bit between him and Otto. It’s one of the most impressive scenes in the play.

 Lenya Von Brunno: Female/20’s-30’s  –  Otto’s mistress who also worships evil. She and Otto have continuous fights due to his blunderings and her attraction to Crummond. She has an evil laugh and German accent.

 Character Actor extraordinaire: Male/20’s-40’s  –  This actor will play 7 parts in the show. It is obvious to the audience but not the characters. The characters are the following: Algy Longwort (An upper class English twit with a school boyish manner. Delights in Crummond’s every adventure.) Professor Rupert Fenton (A slightly doddering, very old, “B” movie scientist who’s terribly involved in his work. English.) Waiter (A condescending waiter at the best restaurant in London. He believes Crummond is not fit for his establishment.) Inspector Scabbard of Scotland Yard/Wolfgang Schmidt (Scabbard is a one-armed inspector who is not too bright and easily frustrated by Crummond’s interference. He is really Wolfgang in disguise who is completely obedient to Otto and adopts military rigidity and a German accent in his presence. The actor changes between the characters instantly.)

Marovitch (The hunchback, halfwit minion to the Von Brunno’s. He has an eyepatch, limp, scar, and heavy cockney accent. Assassin (no lines).

 2 “Stagehands”: any age or gender  –  Due to the “special effects” carried out by the crew, the director has decided to let the stagehands be seen on stage at times as they carry out their duties. There will be times the “wall” between the crew and actors will be broken when cues are purposely missed and such. These are true working crew positions but they won’t be completely hidden in the shadows and will bring some extra laughs into an already ridiculous show.